Today is so bland. I got up and went to school. I had a test in Chemistry, and a test in math that I forgot to go in before school and get started on..leaving me less than 75% done with it by the end of the period..and the answers I DID put in were undoubtedly wrong. In Spanish I had another test. It was multiple choice, it wasnt fill in the blanks from this hella easy word bank.. It was WRITE YOUR OWN SENTENCES IN SPANISH! Do I KNOW spanish? Not at all. So I wrote "fuck this" on the back and turned it in. Im pretty sure about half of the class did the same thing. Kristin Liz and I went to their house for lunch, and we had mini bagels. Yum!! They were so good and cute; and we called the GradCity place to talk about our senior trip shit. WE ARENT CANCELLED! THANK GOD! In 5th period, Cait and I got called out to see the councilor about running start. He told me that I should do it, and he told Cait no. So Im going to be a loner in my college classes next year :(. He thinks that I will get into 2nd year english with the placement test, which is awesome. After that, I had an AKWARD encounter with 2 fat girls who were arguing with eachother about eating hamburgers. One of them turned to me and whined "SHE MADE ME EAT A BURGER TODAY AND IM ON A DIET!" ..what the hell was I supposed to say to that? "Im sorry. Hey, maybe you should both be on a diet.." Cait and I FINALLY did our presentations in AP lit. Then in 6th period, Cait Chantel and I went to do our letter (F) for the yearbook. When we got there, they told us that they only needed 2 for the F but one of us had to do the C. So I said Id do the C cuz I didnt really care, and then they showed me my partner. The little lesbian. Lol. So we did our modeling pics laying down on this huge black peice of paper, and then we went back to class. After school I bought my ticket to Victor's show, and talked to people for a while. Then I called the chiropractor and changed my appointment on friday to 8AM so Josh and I can leave for the zoo at like 8:45, and I called pizza hut to ask when the next time I work is. Josh told me "3 o'clock today". I was like WHAT?! cuz it was 2:45 and I was in the parking lot at school..with no work clothes! After freaking out for a second, I realized he was joking. Now Im home, and Im about to start reading my history book cuz we have a test tomorrow, then Kevin is coming over to see me once he is done training at Red Robin.

A few things are cluttering my mind recently:

1) what if Josh wasnt just trying to be friendly when he said we are going on a 'date'?

2) what if he WAS just being friendly??? :(

3) what if Kevin gets mad about it for some reason? (yes there would be justifiable reasons..I just havent told anybody about them) Whats going to happen with our friend/relation ship by summer?

4) even if nothing works out with either of them..is this just showing me that it is time to move on? I know I always say that about Kevin, but its been more than 3 years now!

5) what will happen to me if I fall for another guy and then get let down again? (for the record, Drew was not considered falling for a guy..that crush was a brain spasm on my part)

6) what if they just randomly get back together and our date gets cancelled? That would be the saddest day! And I hate not having any say in what goes one here, its just his decision if he wants to get back with her and I have to trust that he will make the right one. Fucking shit DUDE! (haha Cait)

Y Hillary