Today was really great until like half an hour ago. I got up and went to school..yippee...we did WASLing. Kristin Chantel and I went to do something between wasl and 1st period, and we ended up being like 8 minutes late to class (even after the 10 min break)but my teacher didnt mark me absent so that was good. I think she thought that I was still testing, but lol NO..at lunch, me and allison went to the library again so I could do my essays and Josh Skurnik paid me a dollar to type up a paper for him, and he is giving me another one tomarrow. :D that was awesome. In LA class, I turned in my essays and we worked on power point. Max was showing me this hella funny video by people called jocs and loces or something, it was soo great. He is pretty much the only person I talked to in there cuz we were like secluded in the lab in the very back. That was fine with me tho lol. After school I came home and Kevin came over. We went to safeway and he bought me 6 pink roses :D I was happy. Then we came to my house and hung out till 5 15. I met Eileen to work out at 5 30 and I realized that Im really sore from all the running I did yesterday! When we were working out, I felt my boob for some reason, and I realized that there is no underwire in ONE side of my bra! Ive been wearing it like that alll day! OMG it waI came home and got interrogated about the roses...and then Kevin IMed me...this is where the day goes bad.

PhatFarm Ones: i was reading some of u blog things
LEctRIcbuLLRIdER: really
PhatFarm Ones: yea
LEctRIcbuLLRIdER: was it boring
PhatFarm Ones: no i was reading the one w/ my name in em
LEctRIcbuLLRIdER:howd u know if ur name was in it
PhatFarm Ones: it said kevin lol
LEctRIcbuLLRIdER: didnt u have to read to see it say kevin or u just skimmed
PhatFarm Ones: skimm
LEctRIcbuLLRIdER: I see did u read the bold stuff?
PhatFarm Ones: wat bold stuff?
LEctRIcbuLLRIdER: when I made stuff bold on my blog
PhatFarm Ones: some y
LEctRIcbuLLRIdER: just wondering..cuz I boldness the important things or the funny stuff
PhatFarm Ones: oo

*the next thing he says is something he took from here*

***PhatFarm Ones: Monday, March 22, 2004
me: Im sooo happy now its crazy
me: everyone thinks im a crack head
Kevin: yea when iam out of ur life
me: ur still in my life
Kevin: iam the one that made u pissed everyday
Kevin: not like that
me: well..you didnt make me pissed everyday , I just worried about if you liked me
Kevin: o well
me: it was hard cuz I knew that u liked someone else the whole time we were together

I NEVER wanted to EVER have that conversation. It doesnt seem so bad..but it was sooo not cool to have to think of what to say to that first thing he said..I didnt want to lie..or make him feel bad. god damn..oh well at least he didnt see the photo journal lol***
PhatFarm Ones: wats da photo journal
LEctRIcbuLLRIdER: uhh..something I had to make in photo
PhatFarm Ones: oo i wanna c it
LEctRIcbuLLRIdER: no u dont
PhatFarm Ones: yea i do i got u roses out of da goodness of me heart
LEctRIcbuLLRIdER: umm I think it would be mean to show it to you
PhatFarm Ones: y
LEctRIcbuLLRIdER: It just might make things wierd
PhatFarm Ones: y?
LEctRIcbuLLRIdER: cuz I put stuff in there that I never told you
PhatFarm Ones: well tell me now
LEctRIcbuLLRIdER: what do u want to know
PhatFarm Ones: everything that u never told me about
LEctRIcbuLLRIdER: should I just send you what I wrote in the book
PhatFarm Ones: yea
LEctRIcbuLLRIdER: its a lot..
PhatFarm Ones: ok
LEctRIcbuLLRIdER: ok maybe I should just let u see it
PhatFarm Ones: yea :-)
LEctRIcbuLLRIdER: no its not :) at all
PhatFarm Ones: oo
LEctRIcbuLLRIdER: ok well let me put it this way
LEctRIcbuLLRIdER: I just told eileen u wana know what I have in it and she said :
qwerty1912: o god hillary ur retarded u gotta do this in person
LEctRIcbuLLRIdER: WHAT DO I SAY
qwerty1912: dont do it onlinePhatFarm Ones: ?
LEctRIcbuLLRIdER: I dont want you to get mad at me
PhatFarm Ones: i wont aye brb tho i gadda go drive to get a job application real fast
LEctRIcbuLLRIdER: u should drop by here and pick this up then and u can read it then tell me what u think
PhatFarm Ones: ok
LEctRIcbuLLRIdER: ok
PhatFarm Ones: k ill be there soon
LEctRIcbuLLRIdER: ok
PhatFarm Ones: late
LEctRIcbuLLRIdER: buybuy


so, he came by..I gave it to him and gave him a hug....now I think he is reading it. I hope he finishes soon cuz Im scared this is gona make or break our friendship somehow..that photo journal pretty much had all of my feelings in it..all of them, like I was reading through to make sure it didnt have anything bad in it before he got here and I started crying. But I dont think I meant as much to him as he did to me so maybe he will think its no big deal. I almost started crying when I was giving it to him too...its like totally putting my heart on my sleeve for him to judge me even more.


tonight is really depressing

Hope everyone else is having a good night
Hillary