I used to write in this thing religiously. Every day. Maybe even twice a day, if I had that much to say. But now it is like a weekly occurance. Maybe Im just getting too damn cool for the internet and my computer. HA! yeah right. I dont know why I havent been writing in here for that last month, but I couldnt have written if I WANTED to the last couple days. Dan took my computer away on Monday after noon. Well, my computer power cord to be exact. Basically life is going as expected. But one wierd thing,

When I was younger I used to listen to adults talk and I noticed that they would make gestures and gives sideways glances at times in conversations when they didnt feel comfortable disclosing certain information. Like they had some huge hidden secret locked inside their minds. I always wondered why I could never have that, why nothing cool and secret ever happened to me. Im just an open person I guess, I dont see a reason to hide my problems from other people when if I have the guts to expose the issues, other people may well learn from them. Well, recently some things have been happening to me that I am fully content with keeping locked inside. In a way, it is making me realize that I am growing up and becoming more mature. I started to understand that if the world knows every little thing about you, 1) there will be no desire to learn more and 2) you wont have anything that you can call your own. Even the workings of your mind are leaked out into society. You are a nothing. Anyways, these things that have been happening to me are in both my family life, personal life and friendships. They are happening in the way I look at other people.


The highlights of my week so far:

Sunday- ran my ass off at the gym and it felt great.
Monday- major LOWlight of my week. To say the least. But I saw Russell in the parking lot of Top Foods wearing a banana costume! He told me about his play on Friday called West Side Story at a community college. Now all I have to do is find someone to go with me and figure out exactly where it is playing.
Tuesday- I felt extremely exposed. I worked with Chantel for the first time. I gave Skyler my # and am hopefully going to get him to come to the play with me.
Today- I completely cleaned out the interior of my car. COMPLETELY. It took me 2 hours


Tomorrow it is supposed to be 80 degrees. And it is the last day of the school week. And I think I am wearing a skirt for the first time this school year. And I SERVE at work, (tips!)
Friday- shopping with Shalia in the day. then going to Russells play ?


Hope everybody is having fun in the sun!

Hillary

it has almost been an entire week since I posted in here. . . let me just breifly explain the wierd happenings of my week.

Monday- hung out with Kevin and went to the gym. I ran for 40 minutes and did some situps, then I drove home on the freeway in the pouring rain with my air conditioning on full blast. it felt awesome.
Tuesday- oh lordy. was that the day I met up with Juan? ew. all I have to say about that is old men should not buy teenage girls roses, chocolates and BABY DOLLS. it is just NOT RIGHT! and it reminded me very much of my dad which is also, in that sense, not a good thing. Also that night my family went to see this RETARDED play about tango dancing. it was funny though because we all knew how bad it was so wewere just cracking up at random stuff on stage. like this one guy was playing an accordian and he had this UGLY harold style wig on. omg. it was great
Wednesday- party after school at Rachels house lol. actually I went to Kevins first and we hung out till I dropped him off at work, and then I went to Rachels and we had fun, then kevin came back over and WE had fun. lol I mean what?
Thursday- worked with Jordan. ... door hanging in the rain. Then Kevin and I went to mercer island and got him some concealer for his nick. hahaha
Friday- Plan B...after school I worked as a server. Kristin came in and saw me and got some food..then I fell asleep right when I came home..but I had like 13 missed calls and 5 text messages when I woke up this morning. And 2 of the missed calls are from a number I dont know, and they came in at 12. 55AM, BASTARDS!
Today- Im getting ready and then my sister Kim and I are driving up to Canadia to find me a prom dress.


:) Hillary

Its hella late at night and I just got home from waiting to meet Dan Bear's German exchange friend..but I didnt get to see him after all. .. anyways it has been almost a week since Ive written in here. so Ill fill you in REALLY QUICK cuz Im tired!

Wednesday I went to a sounders soccer game with Daniel and David, and their mom and sister. It was sooo much fun I cant even explain to you. We laughed and made fun of eachother mostly.
Thursday I had a 2.5 hr serving shift. It was awesome, I made 20$ in tips and didnt have to do prep!
Friday I hung out with Kevin after school until 7 30 and then went with Rachel, Daniel, Samantha, David, Tyler and Chris Ludhal to a laser show in Seattle. It was SO FUCKING AWESOME! the whole night is a huge blur to me, so I wont say any more about that. Except I know that 6 of us ate thirty fruitsnacks between us. sick now that I think about it. And rachel or sam, one of you needs to explain this whole british talk accent to me. It STILL isnt clicking in my head!! and who is a dumb ass?
Saturday I went with Caitlin to get a new cell phone, (which she didnt get) and we also went shopping for a while. Then we sat at her house and watched AMericas next top model for a couple hours. I went home and got called into work :( so I worked from 5:30-9. At 9 I came home and put on some PJ pants and a t shirt and went over to Kevins house so we could watch Sahara. Too bad the CDs didnt work in his DVD player, so we watched Rat Race instead. Omg what a funny movie! I laughed sooo hard at some times during it. wow. I came home at 1 AM and went to bed.
Today I did absolutely nothing until 5 when I worked. I worked till 9, then hung out with everyone until 11, waiting for Dan to bring his friend who flew in from Germany today. Juan is leaving for Mexico for a MONTH :( its so sad. He told me he has a suprise for me so I am meeting him at Pizza Hut on Tuesday to see what it is. THen he leaves that night. And Im happy that I get to go in on Tuesday cuz it is an excuse to see..... :)

Here is what my week looks like, in case I dont write in here for a while again:

tomorrow- school, picking up my paycheck, nothing, gym.
Tuesday- school, meeting up with Juan cuz he has a suprise for me :), then doing another suprise thing that my mom planned for Dan's birthday
Wednesday- school and the gym
Thursday- school, SERVING at work
Friday- school, work, gym
Saturday- CANADA with my sister and Kim and possibly Caitlin and the twins. Time to get a prom dress!
Sunday- gym, work.

Hillary

If you have ever read a post and thought that you should give me some advice, but you just decided not to for some reason, now is NOT the time to keep your ideas to yourself!!!! I neeeed advice on the thing I bitch about in this post, so leave me a comment! All you have to do is click on the little "post comment" link at the bottom of this entry.

Monday- school, work, gym. exactly the way things were supposed to go, except Caitlin didnt come with me to the gym. at lunch Kristin Liz Allison Helen and I went to helens. haha we had a little party before class started again. it was awesome.

Today- school..at lunch Kristin Liz Allison and I went to K+Ls house. we had the best burritos and quacamole (actually it was just rice in a tortilla), but we always have the best food at that house so I dont know what Im talking about..Kristin almost got SOO mad at me cuz she thought I sent a bitchy ass text message to Nick. it was scary, and then after school I started to go over to Lexis house. But my car broke down 2 times. TWO times on the drive from Juanita to Woodinville. Not cool at all, but Lex and I took my car to her daddy to fix it, and then we picked up Rhys. We went back to Lexis so Jessica could come get some clothes for an interview and then we went and watched Daniel David and Kevin#2 in their last soccer game of the season. They tied..I came home at like 8PM, but then I got lost coming back from Kingsgate so I didnt get home till 8 30. It was very sad, I had to turn around 2 times .

So I am in a very bad predicament. Very bad. But then when I start thinking about it, I tell myself that it doesnt really matter. Okay let me explain.
I like 2 guys equally. But that 'equally' is a lot. But they are totally different people. I know that I dont want to have a boyfriend right now, but Ive liked them both ever since the first time I met them, or at least saw potential. Sept, Ive known one of them since january, and the onther one just a few weeks.The one that I have known for longer is involved in a long term relationship though, and he is much older. The one Ive just recently met is single, but he is is a sophyomore. I have a LOT in common with the older one, and we flirt CONSTANTLY, but then I found out about hisgirlfriend of 8-months. Now Im dying to know what she looks like. I wonder about it all the time, I dont know why it matters, I guess I just want to know if Im his type or WHAT...I was talking to the older one today, and I said something like "well all the other guys do that.." and he said "Im not like OTHER guys.." in a really wierd flirty way. When he says stuff like that, its when I get confused if he is flirting with me or just making a wierd comment. and then I get to thinking I have a chance with him. But I dont think I really do. Then this other guy, oh god I dont even know what to say. Im pretty sure its just a school girl crush..but I cant stop thinking about him. And I think we could like eachother a lot and all, but there are a bunch of things about him that would bring back problems like I had with Kevin#1. The wierd thing about it is, neither of these guys are my 'typ' in the looks department. I started liking them both because of something they said or did on the day I met them and I havent forgotten them because of the one little thing. When I met the older one, he told me that he has a really strong beleif that is one of my strong beleifs, not religious; so I was like AUTOMATICALLY interested. I think it is a mutual thing cuz we always can sit and talk about it. The more recent one , the younger, was realllly polite and funny when I first met him, but then we accidentally got into a deep discussion about reputations cuz we had opposing ideas about it. He made a really good point when I said that reps dont matter. something about how he wouldnt ever want to be thought of as a dishonest or untrustworthy person. Seriously the minute those words came out of his mouth it was like BAM HILLARY ALERT. it was like a huge lightbulb went off in my head or a megaphone blaring "THIS ONES A KEEPER!" and from that moment on we keep having really goood conversations.


The reason I am mad that this wont get off my mind is cuz I dont think I really have a chance with either of the guys, so even if I did decide which one I wanted to go for-(even though I dont want to GO FOR either of them..)- it wouldnt matter cuz neither of them want me. So I should save myself the embarrassment and just keep it to myself. But obviously Im not doing that..lol. Anyways one more thing about today


Kenny Chesney went and married Renea Zellwigger. That fat faced bitch. Im so pissed off!

Hillary

yesterday did not go as planned AT ALL!
I ended up going to kevin#1's house (Ive come up with a new system since I know 3 kevins. Kevin #1 is my ex boyfriend Kevin Loeffler. Kevin #2 is the sophomore Kevin that I hung out with Friday night. Kevin #3 is the one I work with. ) for a bit. Then I got called into work. so Kevin and I went to my sisters house for a while, and then I went to work from 2-6. Shalia and I went shopping for a couple hours then I came home and decided I wasnt going to the parties cuz they all started so late. So Kevin#1 asked me if i wanted to do something. We brought in some new furniture to my room and ended up going to see House of Wax witch was hella good (suprisingly enough). At midnight I came home and slept

Today I went to anacortes with my mom for a brunch with my gma gpa aunt and cousins. and my aunt brought the cardboard cutout of my unle Mike who is in kuwait. it was amazing how many people actually stopped to THANK the symbol of him. And just how many people talked about it in general or came by to see him. someone even asked what he was havin for lunch. haha. talk about supporting our troops! We went to my grandparents house until 6, and my grandpa just bought my grandma a hellllla nice new custom made 2005 car. so she asked if I wanted to go for a ride in it. I was like YES!! but I didnt know she meant ME DRIVING! So I got to drive a +50,000$ car around town for half an hour. it was so awesome. the steering wheel had the softest leather in the world on it so I kept moving my hands all over to feel it. Michaela was like "hillary thats kinda creepy.." from the back seat, it was funny cuz she was dead serious. I dont know what happened with my grandparents but my gpa bought my gma this car, two j-lo sized rocks set in platinum and gold bands, plus a huge rare saphire in a gold heart necklace. and he bough himself a car... damn I wish I had money like that.

omg the funniest story Ive heard all day:

my grandpa was leaving the house one day and his lawn-guy came up to ask for his pay. the guy said he needed cash only. (the guy is a deadbeat dad so he cant cash checks). My grandpa was like "umm I dont have any cash on me, all I have is some poker chips." so the lawnkeeper was like 'Okay!! thats fine!!' so my grandparents paid the lawn man with 100$ poker chips for a week! haha

Daniel invited me to go with him David and Kevin to a sounders game on Wednesday. so Im excited for that!

Here is my week so far
tomorrow: school, work, gym
tuesday: school, chem test,work
wednesday: school, gym, SOCCER GAME with Daniel Kevin and David
thursday: school, work
friday: school. ?????



Happy Mothers Day!!
Hillary

Yesterday was HORRIBLE until the night time..night time being like 9PM. Heres how my day went:

Got up at 5:07 scared shitless cuz I thought I had slept through my AP History exam. I went back to sleep until 6, and then started getting ready. I first sat next to Jen Lee and Liz and everyone from my class in the HUGE room for the exam, but then right before it started, the administrators asked if there were any left handed people in the lower level who wanted a left handed desk. So I had to move, but I ended up with a desk I could be more comfortable in and also sitting right in front of Kevin, a guy I work with. The test as four hours of repeated death murder no, that test slaughtered me.

After the test I came home and did some cleaning, and finally hung up all (well most) of my clothes. Then I went to TGIFridays to get Joe from work. He took more than an hour to get off, and then we went 'shopping' :). I ended up being 15 minutes late to work which wasnt good, and then I didnt get off until 8:45. I drove STRAIGHT to Daniels house and got the party started. Everyone else was already partyin, but Rachel and I played a drinking game. It was fun, and yeah like all parties are. Lexi of course started crying for attention any way that she could..and people catered to it. But honestly the minute I walked in the door she was on the verge of tears. The first thing I said "Are you seriously about to cry?" and shes like "yess" so I walked the other way. I love Lex a ton, but she needs to realize that people arent going to want to party with her if she puts on a fucking scene like that every time she gets a couple shots down her throat. That isnt was PARTYING is about. Anyways, we got kicked out at 10 45, so I was supposed to go to Lexis. But I ended up hanging out with Kevin this OTHER kevin, until midnight and then coming home and going to bed. It was really fun



I gota go shopping and then partying again tonight I hope.

Hillary

Dammmmn this is the busiest week EVER!
Tuesday- I dont have a damn clue what I did Tuesday. Honestly, this whole week I havent had a clue which day it is. I thought Monday was Friday and started making plans to do stuff Saturday (Tuesday) night. That is, until people started telling me that it was a school night so they couldnt do anything.
holy crap let me think
Monday- AP exam. Pizza party in 5th period and then went shopping. It was PAYDAY! but I didnt buy anything. Then I went and hung out with Lexi until I had to work. Went to the gym with Caitlin after work and ran a lot. Sweated like a freaking pig and then smelled really bad. It was gross.
Tuesday- Starbucks with Kristin and Liz and Cait Eileen and I skipped 4th period to go to Taco Time and Eileens house.
Wednesday- QFC with Kristin Liz Allison and Helen. Worked, and then went to the gym and same story as Monday.
Today- did nothing but walk around with the boy twins at lunch. Worked (Im so pissed off at Cory). I requested today off so that I could study for my AP exam tomorrow. But Cory threw his shift on me, saying that he was leaving town and COULDNT do it. SO being a nice co-worker I covered for him. Turns out he wasnt leaving town after all, and he just didnt want to work cuz it was SPRING CLEANING> so I ended up scrubbed walls, toilets, DOORS, and everything else all the while Cory was sitting on his fucking ass and the clock was ticking on my study time with Caitlin and Eileen. Im going to KILL him, I am so pissed you have no idea!

Tomorrow I have my AP US History exam until 12PM, then Im going to get gas and money out of the bank, then going to the gym and picking up Joe from work. Hes doing me a favor, and then I work from 5-8. Then Im hanging out with Daniel, David, Kevin and Lexi (possibly Rhys). Its going to be FUNNN!!!


Hillary

I saw the cutest thing ever tonight! I parked in the gym parking lot and was walking in when I heard some people with raised voices arguing about dog food or something. I looked over to see what all the commotion was, and there were these two old people, Id say about 75-80 years old, walking to their car. I started to think "I hate when married people bitch at eachother"..you know, the usual things that you think when you see a disfunctional couple. But THEN, the old man sped up his pace walking so that he could open the car door for his wife, mid-argument. Omg, it was so cute! He respected her enough to do that even though he was in a deep, EMOTIONAL argument about dog food.

So today was a very interesting one. I woke up and played 'tr0uble' with my cousins. I whooped their asses, and then we started the drive to Anacortes. Michaeala asked me "Can we stop and get my mom a card cuz its mothers day?" and I beleived her about it being mothers day, so we stopped to buy a card and some candles for my aunt. (very embarrassing when we walked up to the door and the kids start screaming HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!! and Eileen is like "umm honey, its not mothers day") Kingston said he was hungry on the way (even though he had eaten 2 hours before) so we stopped at Red Robin. right when I stopped the car, he told me that he thought he was going to be sick. He jumped out of the car and threw up all over the cement outside. It was quite akward, actually. So we went into Red Robin and they had some kiddy meals. I was a little offended by the waiter, he kept calling Michaela 'baby doll' and stuff like that. Plus he had a wierdo mullet kind of thing going on, which didnt tend to magnify his looks in a positive way. After we ate, we crossed the parking lot to David's Bridal, where I tried on a couple prom dresses. Very cute, but I want to lose a few sizes before May 20 when I am supposed to be heading up to Canadia with my sis and Cait to buy a dress. After I FINALLY dropped my cousins off at home, I drove back to Kirkland. I was getting carsick. I didnt think that was possible when you are driving, but apparently- it is VERY possible. I went into work around 3 and did 40 minutes of cleaning drains. Josh came in while I was on my hands and kness scrubbing out a drain, and he just sat in a chair at the other side of the restaurant and stared at me. I looked up and saw and it honestly scared me. Scared like, 'ew why is he looking at me...this is akward...get away from his freaky stare RIGHT NOW' . Thats exactly what I was thinking. So I moved right along to doing something else, out of his range of sight. Cory and I went to Taco D so he could get burritos for him and Josh, and then I came home and fell asleep. I woke up at 6 all hot and sweaty from sleeping under my down comforter. I hate when that happens. Like when you wake up at 7AM on a summer morning SWEATING and you are like :fuck, I hate today already!: (dont get me wrong, i still LOVE summer..but that is one definate de-perk-er). They should make fans with timers on them so they can turn on right before you wake up sweating. That would be awesome.

Anyways, after I woke up from my nap, I went to the gym from 8-9. I have a new tactic. RUN. RUN. RUN. No more arm lifts and random shit. I just need to get my ass on a treadmill and get my cardio going! and then I can worry about building up more muscle.So I ran for 40 minutes straight, and just about shot off the back of the treadmill in a coma a couple of times. But it felt great. I did some situps and stretching afterwards and then headed home. I took a long shower and shaved and all that good stuff, and now Im going to hop into bed so that I can wake up FRESH for my AP exam tomorrow Im actually excited, its going to be fun! Plus afterwards, we are having a pizza party in Mr Brinns class! SWEET!

Goodnight!!
Hillary