Basically I dont want to write a lot about my day so Im gona sum it up quick and say how I feel with some lyrics.
Today I got up and went running with Eileen, 8 minute mile! then we went to Curves and worked out. Kevin and I hung out with Rhys and Eileen and then Chris Eileen Kevin and I watched NEWLYWEDS and dont be a menace. Eileens fam had an issue so instead of me staying the night like planned, I had to come home.


Bold means...it means a lot to me

I'm so confused about the way I feel I'm trying with all my mind
And if you ask me why.. please be patient and I'll be through when it's time
All good things come to those who wait for them
I'm still young, I have plenty of time

Where do they get off telling you
that I am not the least bit into you
Just tell me how the hell can they tell you they know what's in my heart
Why do some people have to tell you lies
I love you more than words could ever show
They're not the ones to be there for you
When you need someone to turn to
They won't be anywhere, be anywhere when things start falling down
They're only in it to confuse you
So they can turn around and use you
Why did you have to listen to the lies
Well, there is only you inside my world
If only you could know

Could you learn to love someone
Could you teach your heart to love
I wonder if you could do it
Cause I know that I could sure love you
Could you learn to love someone
Could you teach your heart to love
Tell me that you could do it
Cause I wanna give my love to you

In a world where people
Are longing for true love
How could anyone not know what they want
For once in your life
Don't be afraid to love
Don't run away from love

You didn't want my love
That's what starts the pain, baby
You didn't need my love
I think that's your game

Sometimes, when I'm alone I feel sad
I know you'll leave me once again
And take my pride
And maybe I am the fool you call me, yeah
'Cause I'll be here standing waiting
But I hope this time for once
We'll forever mend it up

Just friends
Lovers no more
Just friends
But not like before
To think of what we've been
And not to kiss again
Seems like pretending
It isn't the ending
Two friends
Drifting apart
Two friends
But one broken heart

Well its off to bed for me..
Hillary

We can't change the way we were
But we can change the way we are

Oh what I wouldn't give
To have that crazy love again
I believe in second chances

I'd rather have bad times with you
than good times with someone else
I'd rather be beside you in a storm
than safe and warm by myself
I'd rather have hard times together
than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart

I think I know my answer

A guy streaked at the Ms game last night!! haha that was awesome. Kevin and I talked, and I am still confused about what to do. I want to make a decision soon but theres so many things that I have to worry about. Today Im workin out with Eileen and then Im supposed to be going tanning in kevins back yard then shopping redmond with him..we will see how this goes maybe it will be an important day..
Hillary

Today I had an interview at the bank. I think it went well, so I have to wait till next week to find out if I got the job. The only thing that I can think of that would keep me from getting it is that I cant start working for them until August, and they need me next week...hmm issues. After my interview I went to Curves and worked out with Eileen and then I went over to Chris' and hung out with him for a while. We played cards with his bro and then walked over to meet Eileen. I ran into Jason and gave him a hug, then E C and I came back to Chris's and went to the pool. I layed out and tanned with Eileen and Chris swam. Kevin came after a while but I didnt even know for like half an hour so that was cool. We played more cards and I won :) and now Im home. Im gettin ready to go to the mariners game with Amandas family..we leave at 5 so I should prolly start actually doing stuff like getting ready. The situation with Kevin is getting very fucked over, right before I was about to say that Id go out with him....an old issue came back up. Maybe its just time to give up on him~Hillary~

Wow, this is my 101st entry! thats amazing to me. Its really sad that Herrick is gone, I miss him so much :(. He called me last night but my phone didnt ring, so he left me a message saying he was in Montana. I almost started crying cuz he sounded so lonely and depressed..
Yesterday Kevin took me to see the Terminal. It was pretty good. Then we walked over to PetSmart and I looked at the kittens and the cats. AWW they were so cute but I swear the people in there drug the cats so that they all sleep at the same time, because EVERY SINGLE one of the cats was passed out and wouldnt wake up. They were like dead or something. I came home at 7ish and did chores, then Caitlin and Chantel came over. We played cards and stuff and then Kevin came over. Billy was gona come pick us all up to go gambling but my mom wouldnt let me leave..and when I asked why she said CUZ I DONT WANT YOU TO, what a party pooping bitch. So Chantel and Cait went and Kevin and I stayed here and watched Anna Nicole. He went home at 11 45 and then I came to my room and talked to Ryan and Clint online. Ryan was talkin about how he likes me and stuff..and how he realized now that he was stupid for not going for me when he had a chance. Eileen and I decided he is bullshitting so I am just gona ignore him..and also Ill ignore what Clint said, lol that guy is all about gettin some pussy!
I got up SOO LATE today!! I think (besides the time Cassie and I tried to watch the sun-rise and slept till 5 PM afterwards..) that was the latest Ive ever slept in.. I woke up at 2! I called Eileen, and her and her mom came and picked me and my workout balls and yoga mat up. We went to her house and I looked up some important stuff on ebay..and then we worked out. OH MY GOSH that workout video for the yoga balls is soo hard!! it felt so good to get a hard work out but I was makin some wrong noises tryin to do it! Eileen fell off her ball and was laughing soo hard at me for so long..but damn that shit was hard trying to spread and close ur legs hella fast while balancing on a ball and flexing ur stomach and ass. we finished and then we made these hella bomb smoothies. I thought it would be a good idea to add some whey protein powder shit to them, so right when Eileen started blending it, I was like...uh oh..is that stuff what they put in protien bars? cuz that makes me sick.. lol she was like OMG YOU RUINED MY GOOD SMOOTHIES! oh well we added more orange juice and it was pretty good still. Im planning to start a new diet thing..but Im not sure how its going to work..Im not able to 'diet' without major issues..if you dont know what that means, then u dont know me very well..:( it kinda sucks.
Chris H came and picked me and Kevin and Chris up from Eileens house after I got outa the shower, and we drove to my place so I could do the catbox. Eileen and us met up at the bank and then we all went down to DTK..what a fucking ordeal that was..lol. We got free icecream and then went and saw DodgeBall..that was so funny wow its such an Eileen type movie! then we all went out to eat at azteca. kevin and I split a meal thing and then gave some to Chris L. I got home at like 10 45 and now Im painting my nails and trying to do what I can to get ready for my interview tomorrow morning ...Im being interviewed for an internship as a teller at Washington Mutual tomorrow at 9 30 AM. then I am going to work out with Eileen..and then Cait and I are going to Olive Garden and having interviews there. Tomorrow is a good job potential day for me!! yay. I guess I better get some sleep so I can wake up a bit earlier than I did today!
*Hillary!*

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road.
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go.
So make the best of this lesson known as life.
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time.
It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind.
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time.
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial.
For what it's worth, it was worth all the while.
It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
Herrick, you and I had some great times together. I love you and I will never forget you. You are always there to help me through my hard times and make me feel beautiful when I need it the most. You are a great person and I hope you have a good life in Virginia, nobody here will forget you cuz you are such and awesome guy and a really great friend. I love you so much
Hillary :'(

UMM WOW I dont know when I last wrote, prolly a long time ago! Basically life is good right now, tomorrow we have 20 minute periods and then ITS SUMMER!!!!! OMG IM SO EXCITED. I am dreading Saturday tho, thats when Herrick leaves for Virginia. I love him so much I dont know how Im going to deal with him leaving. Ive been hanging out with him like triple-time lately, even more than I used to which was like everyday haha. I spend like every free minute I have with him, and this Friday Im throwing him a going away party at bowling. Its gona be really fun, but Im going to cry a lot when he has to go :'( I almost cry thinkin about it..ok so new topic..
I dont think I wrote in here bout how Kevin asked me out. But he did, and I dont know what to say I am not sure if I want to yet. That was last Friday night, and then on Saturday me and my mom and Dan went to this swap meet thing at the drive in movie theater. This one guy bout a dresser from us, and so I was helping him carry it to the end of an isle thing, and he went to pick up his truck, so I just left the dresser there, and this other guy was working at a stand and he was like "HEY!" and I looked at him and he goes "Ill watch that for you if you pay me" and I was just like "ummm Im good but thanks" and so I went back to our stand. Then a like 20 year old guy that was hella buff came over and asked me bout my sterio. He was like OH MY GOD I WANT TO BUY THAT ILL BE BACK!! and he kept smiling at me and stuff..so my mom was saying that he was cute and I should get his number haha. He came back prolly 5 times or something and then he said something to me in italian or some other language..so it was hellllla hot outside and I needed another water bottle. I walked over to the truck and opened the cooler, and got a cherry pepsi and a water. I opened the cherry pepsi and started drinkin it but it was nasty and warm so I spit it out all nasty style on the ground. Then I looked in the door mirror thing and started picking my tooth..I started walking away from the truck to go back to the booth, and the guy who offered to watch my stuff came running at me from out of nowhere yelling "HEY! HEY! ARE YOU LEAVING?!!" and I said "ummm no...." (I was hella embarrassed becauase I KNEW he had just watched me spit the pop out and pick my tooth in the mirror lol) and he said he thought i was leaving and he wanted to make sure I had his card so I could go to his shop in Seattle sometime. So he gave me his card and asked me how old I am. I told him 16 and he was like :DAMN..: and I asked :why how old are u: and he goes, 28...almost 29 HAHAHA I was like ohhh wow..lol and then he told me that I should really go to his shop sometime because Im cute. so that was cool. I went back to the booth and then I saw this jeweler guy across the thing..put me next to diamonds and silver and white gold and good luck pulling me away....so I RAN over there..as fast as u can run in a short skirt lol. The guy behind the counter started talking to me and stuff and I saw this HELLLLLLLA FUCKING CUTE pink stone in a silver ring. I was like OH MY GOD HOW MUCH IS THAT??!?!?! and he told me 20 but he would give it to me for 10 . So I went back to my spot at the booth and got money from my mom for working all day. I went back and he said "youre a really pretty little woman" and I just kinda shrugged and looked for my ring I wanted. I thought it was gone because the slot it had been in was filled with a penny. I was like "Omg someone bought my ring?!" and he goes, :nooo I saved it for you.." and he pulled it out of his pocket lol. So i bought the ring and then my mom came over. He asked if she was my mom and said :ohh I see where u got ur good looks: At the end of the day, the jeweler guy came over to our booth and held out his hand to me..he was giving me a fire opal pendant! I was like OH MY GOSH thanks!! and he said youre welcome do u have a silver chain? and I said yes I can put it on this (the chain kevin got me with my heart thing) and he goes, noo you need a box chain, come over here and Ill give u one. So he gave me a free 35 dollar pendant and a 20 dollar chain!! he said "this is cuz ur such a sweetheart and you are so beautiful" I was like HOLY SHIT SCORE! lol..
today I went to school and took my Biology final..I think I did really good. like REALLY freakin good. Then I went to 5th period and Max and Bryan and I had to do our skit. what a joke!! I wrote out Maxs lines and taped them to this champagne bottle full of bubbles he got. then I took Bryans lines and put em on a sword (of course I put the whole thing together, and did the whole project alone) Mrs britsova said we needed better props than just our clothes that had nothing to do with Macbeth, so she gave me a hat to make Max wear that said :OVER THE HILL 40!!: on it!! and it had silver string things hanging off the rim.. I could not stop laughing at him during the presentation. Then I had to wear this crown and jewel necklace from like burger king. The champaigne bottle got a hole in it somehow during the play, so max squeezed it and it squirted out soapy water..I had to faint after Bryan said his lines, and I just fell to my knees and layed down but I almost hit my head on this lamp..Max started laughing at me and I think it kinda ruined the play but oh well we still got 95 outa 100. After school I went and worked out with Eileen and then Caitlin came over. Herrick and Kevin showed up and we washed my moms and Herricks car. Then we all went to cold stone for some free ice cream, and then we went to Herricks hotel and watched TV for a while, then Cait and I got dropped off here to pick up our bikinis and then we picked up chris and watched Simple Life (of course, caitlin was there) then we went swimming in herricks hotels poool/hot tub. It was fun but I got ANOTHER bloody nose..After swimming I took a shower in the hotel room, and Kevin got mad cuz Herrick said he wanted to take a shower with me but he didnt. So now Im sitting in my room listening to that song..
Im not a perfect person
there are many things I wish I didnt do
but Ill continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
and so I have to say before I go
that I just want you to know
I found a reason for me
to change who I used to be
a reason to start over new
and the reason is you

and the one song line from a diff song that I think describes how I feel right now is:
"On my own here we go...."
::Hillary::
I think I need to make up my mind before I pull anyone else into this crazy situation..Like Eileen said..
"The school year ended at a shitty time for ur relationships"
aint that the truth!

I saw Kenny Chesney in concert last night!!! OMG it was so awesome and great! Im going to turn in a job application in a few minutes I think if I can make up the effort to get dressed up..:( but I havent slept for like a week straight..thanks to 2 concerts in a row and a big science project..damn finals and stuff
12 more class periods then school is OUT!

When people ask me if we are getting back together
I say no,and I mean it
When they say '"you will be, I know it"
I laugh inside
cuz the love we had is gone
and cant ever be rekindled.
whatever we had with eachother has long ago died
some things in life cant be denied

-Hillary

I think Im starting a diet thing with Eileen and maybe Lauren for the summer..its gona be tight shit
Today I had my last soccer practice and I ran so hard it was great

Things always get blown out of proportion and it makes me so angry. The only person that really understands is me I guess..and theres no way to describe it to anybody else. basically, when I tell you that I dont want to tell you something because I know that it will make you mad or make the situation worse, then give it up because OBVIOUSLY Im right. Every time I have something on my mind that I dont think is that big of a deal but it just is bothering me, someone finds out and makes it like world war 3 or something.
Today Cait came over and we went and worked out with Eileen and Lauren. Then Kevin Herrick and Chris came over, and Kevin whipped me with a keychain and gave me a welt on my leg. So I locked him on the deck. and now I think we are mad at eachother.
Time for homework..
Hillary

Eileen and Chris Kevin and Herrick came over last night. We watched a movie and hung out in my room and talked it was pretty fun. I was a lot happier once I went and worked out, and then the night was OK. Eileen says Kevin and I act like we are a couple, so I asked him bout it and we both kinda think so too but thats basically all we decided bout that. Eileen spent the night and I guess Skipper kept attacking her feet so at like 4 in the morning I hear her yell at the cat IM GOING TO THROW YOU OUT THE WINDOW and then the kitten flew into my bed haha I was kinda scared. We got up this morning and went to her house for breakfast and then at 12 I came home. Kev came over today at like and we went and played soccer and we tied, but then I beat him :) and then we came back here and hung out till bout an hour ago. Now Im chillen about to do some situps and shit and then go to bed cuz tomorrow is gona be another boring day! whoo. homework up the ass tho so Ill be doing that all day I think.
Hillary
oh, and Lexi is mad at me because my mom wont let me go to church with her in the morning. My moms a bitch and Lexi, you should know that by now so stop getting pissed at me for things she says

Im so fuckin pissed off at people right now. At lunch I asked Liz if she wanted to hang out after school and she said I duno maybe. Then in 4th period I talked to Kristin about doing something today but she said she might go to the beach with her cousin. Chantel and Eileen told me they wana kick it tonight but then after school Eileen called and told me that Caitlin Chantel Kristin and Liz went to hang out after school. What the fuck? So turns out they went to the beach. I was already fuckin pissed off at them for that and then Chantel calls me and is like OH I have someone for you to talk to. Its Marisol and Meribel. WHAT THE FUCK THEY DITCHED ME AND RAN INTO MY OLD BEST FRIENDS I HAVENT SEEN FOR OVER A YEAR. Oh my god I havent ever been mad at K L or Chantel before and I didnt expect to be this mad at all of them at ONE TIME. People are so fucked up today god.
WHAT A SHITTY ASS DAY
Hillary

Im grounded from my computer but right now Im 'doing homework'. Who knows when I last wrote but umm basically this week has gone by hella fast. Today I went to Kevins after school and then him Moose Cait Hairydick Chris and I went swimming. Nick and Chris and Owen showed up and we were all kinda hangin out for a while. Cait and I had to share a towel cuz Kevin and I are kinda dumb and forgot to bring any..so we had to like cuddle together under a towel and run to herricks car to get my shorts so I didnt have to put my skirt back on over my bikini. When Kevin and I were goin into the bathroom thing to change, they had this "gym" on the way and it was the PUNIEST thing Ive ever seen it was a puppy sized treadmill. Next to it was a baby stair stepper. And on the key card it said "pool/club". what the hell !! haha that was such a joke..They dropped me off at home like 5 mins before my mom got here and I jumped into some other clothes and did my chores. Skipper got her shots today. She is sooo cute I love her! Kevin stopped by in his pimp mobile on his way to get dinner tonight and we just talked for a few mins and then he left. boring night!
I found out today that the new season of newlyweds starts on the night of the concert so Im not going to get to see it :'(. Its seriously sooo depressing. I am gona have someone record it for me tho and watch it RIGHT when I get the chance, prolly that Friday cuz I am going to the KENNY CHESNEY CONCERT the next day! YAY!! If anyone wants to record the show and then watch it with me Friday the 18th, tell me cuz I will definately be up for it!
Tomorrow I duno what the hell is going on. some mock crash thing at my school, shorter classes yay!
"baby"....one word can make you think so much. And NO Im not talking about being pregnant people so dont start running your fuckin mouths AGAIN.
I have a lot to b thinkin about right now..I think way too much so Im gona go drink some water, do my situps, and get in bed so my sore ass can do stuff tomorrow!!
Lily!